For years I was taught 10. One breathe in, one breathe out. Two breathe in, Two breathe out. Continue until 10. Lather, rinse, repeat. I've been meditating this way for years.

I sat and meditated by the river the other day, and I kept restarting when I got to 8. I finally surrendered. If you want 8, I'll give you 8. I swooned as my head danced. I was quiet. I felt like I was falling through the sky. And everything in the world was very far away and very close at once. I normally get to that point after 15-20 minutes of meditation, but I was there in 5.

God, life is amazing.

Glowing heart.

Already there.

I've had some struggles feeling outside forces shifting my mojo lately. I'm susceptible to other people's whims at times. It's a difficult path for me, protecting my energy. My boundaries vacillate between fierce and weak. I have my happy space. I want to be here. I am shining again. My eyes are twinkling. I'm enthusiastic. I'm playing and giggling. I am back.

I have to remain strong without being defensive.

I am not who others want me to be. I am myself. I need to be myself. Authentically. I need to keep growing in ways that move me. I am a wanderer. I am constantly craving newness. There has to be some reconciliation between the two sides of me. There's one that craves security, and there is one that craves excitement.

Stop. Think. Stay centered. Keep meditating. Keep integrating. Balance. Stability. Expose. Authenticate. Explore. Dance. Keep it light.

Time to meditate. Shake off some of this tension.
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